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Getting Richer by Letting Go

A little over a week ago I realized I’ve been trying too hard to hold on to things in my life: relationships, skills, talents, toys, happiness.

There’s something humanly satisfying in knowing something is mine. That’s my car and it runs well. This is my job and that’s my friend and that was my skill and… and it was decidedly unsatisfying. If it’s a limited resource and it’s mine and not yours, that means I’m special… right?

It’s a familiar trap and pattern for me: using the “stuff” that surrounds me to convince myself I really am good.

But all this grasping, this holding on - I just grew tired of it. It left me feeling kind of hollow and empty, you know?

So I decided to let stuff go - in a moment if filled with something blessed then great! I will enjoy that moment for all it is worth. But I won’t try to make that moment mine forever.

Now I’m trying to continue letting go - to pass stuff along as freely as I receive it. And I guess that leaves me more open to whatever’s next.

It’s like I’m standing next to a waterfall with cupped hands. I could take a handful of it away and call in “mine!”

I could also stand there and let the water fill up, pour out, escape, overflow, and get my socks wet - I’ll let my hands be filled again. And I think I would be richer for it - even if crappy water comes unexpectedly over the edge at times.

I like this better. It’s funny how so little of life is permanent yet I struggle to live as if that wasn’t the case.

I threw a birthday party for myself last night. I wasn’t going to but realized on Sunday night that I should let it be what it is: a passing day to celebrate life.

I invited all my dancing friends who were in town and my housemates. I cooked dinner and had people over. We ate good food, drank delicious wine, enjoyed chocolate truffles and danced salsa and west coast in my living room.

I loved it. I had a delightful time, my roommates were a fantastic help, and the dancing was heavenly. The company of friends was deeply refreshing - those people are, in a sense, my wealth in life.

And how fun they all are! Seeing people talk and personalities mesh everyone just enjoy the moment - I enjoyed creating that space for them.

It was just one evening of a passing million - nothing and nobody there was “mine”, and I’m quite content with that.

I look forward to what’s next.